Protective

I have been waiting for this comment since I decided to share my life here on the blog:

“I’m worried about your kids”

I understand the comment, I really do.

But I also want to make it clear that I’m not putting my kids in any danger or stressful situation.

If I was harming them in any way I would be the first to ask for help for them. They are my everything.

And I grew up with a very unstable family, including alcohol, abuse, stress, fights, court appointments, foster care etc etc.

I don’t want any of this for my kids.

I don’t take pills, I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink alcohol (only when I’m away from the kids, maybe twice a year), I don’t fight with anyone when the kids are around. Yes I might yell when my kids are not behaving, but I’m not u normal doing that! I’m not dragging them into stressful situations.

Our life is very simple.

They go to school or daycare, attend activities and spend the rest of the time with me.

We are home a lot. Playing, baking or just hanging around. Or we go out, to the movies, to the playground etc.

Life with three kids alone is not easy. It will never be!

But it’s what I know how to do. It’s the ONE thing I know I’m good at.

It’s the rest of life I’m sucking at! So please know that me crying or being sad has nothing to do with my kids.

And I have been down this road before I had kids. I went through therapy for a long time in my early twenties. I didn’t use any medication back then, I got through it by talking. And that’s what I’m doing now too.

Only difference is I’m talking to my doctor and soon my therapist AND here on my blog. I strongly believe depressions and anxiety is something we shouldn’t be ashamed of! I believe it needs to be talked about! And I believe I’m not harming anyone by writing my feelings out.

I’m not suicidal. I have been, at the age of 21. Today I’m not. I have a reason to live, now I’m just looking for myself. I want my life to be more than being a mum.

I’m an introverted person trying to function in a very extroverted world.

So yes I need help to find my self-worth! I need help to see that I am lovable. That I can achieve more in life than being a mum. I want to become a teacher, but right now I don’t feel I have anything to offer. So that’s what I need help with. S E L F L O V E and S E L F A C C E P T A N C E. Good grades makes me a teacher on paper, but how can I become a good teacher in class if I don’t like myself as a person?

And in the end. I’m a great caregiver for my children, but I would be a better mother too by loving myself. That would be the mirror they need to always feel confident about themselves and their own talents.

So please don’t worry about my kids. Even though I’m not in therapy yet, I’m supported for. I’m seeing my doctor every month, and it’s the same doctor who saw me through my troubles in my twenties.

She saw me trough three pregnancies too.

And a horrible relationship, that ended over three years ago.

If she felt the kids was to be worried for she would have done something about it. With my acceptance.

And I know I have a few good friends who knows all of my life too that would have told me straight in my face if they felt the kids needed help in any way.

Some people may think I don’t need to defend myself. And I truly don’t feel I need to either. But this is my way of shedding more light on my situation so no one will feel stressed or worried about my kids ❤️

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6 thoughts on “Protective

  1. Somehow, we rise up to the task of motherhood, despite the inner turmoil. It sounds like you have an army of angels in your life-people who will help lift you up when the storm rolls in. You are aware of the needs of others long before yourself💜. How much more schooling do you need to become a teacher? It is sooooo worth it to have a job that you love, that pays the basic bills! I went back to school after my first marriage ended-my kids were 9 and 7 years old. I was 30. It was hard, and honestly, I don’t know how I did it….but as someone told me,”you can do anything for a short time”…. You are more amazing than you know💜

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    1. Thank you ❤️ I’m lucky to have support, not everyone has that! Regarding my education it all depends on how fast I finish, from two till four years until I’m done. I’m not rushing, since I really want to complete this. I’m 37 now and my youngest is 4, so it’s perfect timing. I have started so many higher educations and never finished any of them. But this one feels perfect and it makes it even more important to finish!

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  2. I missed that comment. As someone in very similar circumstances as you, I totally get everything you say. I hear you. I feel you. It is a hard road to walk and harder still to not let those little voices whisper in your ear along your way – but stay focussed! You sound to me anyway, like you are doing a great job and your kids are lucky to have a mom like you!

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    1. The comment came in Norwegian, so easy to miss. It has been nagging me a bit today. But im not going to let that one tiny voice bring me down. Im walking my path and I’m not ashamed of seeking help, I’m a proud mom and soon I will be proud of myself on all levels 🙏❤️ I know how effect full therapy is and I’m embracing it fully ☺️🙏

      Liked by 1 person

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