My medication

is food!

Its so sad, but when things are going down I turn to food. And I know so well that its not the solution at all.

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But its just so good!!

My therapy got cancelled today due to an emergency. And I do understand that the emergency is more important than my issues, but I felt so low. And I was in a shopping mall. So my two options at the moment was: go eat or go shopping!

Luckily I went for some food. Coz I had enough common sense to know I couldn’t blow our money on crazy shopping. That would only lead to more despair down the line. But food is something I need,ย  so I could go and grab some food.

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As I was walking around looking for shoes for my oldest daughter I started to plan my food. My comfort food. My medicine for my stressed feelings.

I wanted some creamy potatoes, a huge meal at Mac Donald’s, a pizza, some ice cream, a coffee etc etc.

But then I decided to calm down, and just go to Mac Donald’s and grab a frappe and a cheese burger to go! And I did!

I know its not healthy and not what my body need, but at least I managed to stay out of the binging. I managed to control my impulse to just treat myself with a small treat instead of an enormous!

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SO toady I did treat myself, I did not choose the healthy option, but at least I didn’t go all the way like i usually do.

And right now, an hour later I feel good about it.

I feel full and satisfied and have no cravings at all! And even though I didn’t get my therapy today I have a new appointment in a week and hopefully then it will work out fine ๐Ÿ™‚

And I have come to realize that I hope to be staying away from any type of chemical medication during my treatment, and that I hope to get help so I don’t use food as my drug either.

I’m not comfortable in my own skin any more, and I now know the food is connected to my feelings. And I also know that my binge eating is not helping me feeling comfortable in my own skin. But I can’t solve this alone. I know I need help with this, and that I just need to be patience until it all gets sorted out and therapy is my path.

I am one step closer though, even though it felt like I took ten steps back when I lost my therapy session earlier today.

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4 thoughts on “My medication

  1. I fully understand the appeal of comfort food. When my kids were younger and I was having a difficult time living a life where I spent more time in the company of children than anyone else, food was what got me through. There are still times when I totally want to pig out when everything is getting to me. Like you, I lean towards moderation and that seems to work really well.

    Truth is life is hard. We are all just doing the best we can to get through the days, whether they are good or bad.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do feel very good today about being able to hold back with the food yesterday ๐Ÿ™‚ Its so easy to find comfort in food, and Im sadly overweight because Im messing with my food. But I believe I will get a grip on it, and Im never going to give up trying to be better with food ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Food is amazing! And I believe by restricting myself like I did yesterday I did better by myself than to let myself binge away like a crazy woman ๐Ÿ˜‰ Feeling really good today about holding back, and hope I can make it through the weekend!

      Like

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