Healing the past

So everywhere I read how to heal I need to let go of the past. But how can I heal when the past is my issue? The troubled past, childhood, is what makes me hurt.

And I have tried to let it go. It worked for awhile. Then it all surfaced again, this fall. So I hadn’t healed. I had just let it go.

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This fall I found some court records, from when my parents fought about custody for me and my brother.

It enlightened me.

And they referred to other court cases. And they made me curious.

So I sent a letter and asked to get copies.

Today I got them.

And honestly, the past needs to be dealt with before you can heal. When it is dealt with, when you have the facts straighten out, T H E N it’s healing time. That’s what I have learned today.

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And me digging in the past will heal me. Hurt others, maybe. But heal me.

Is that selfish? I guess some may think so. But what I read today makes it pretty obvious that some adults in my life was pretty selfish during my childhood. So if they get hurt by me now,I really don’t care. Their actions lead me down this road. And I need to heal to give a different future to my kids. A future with less pain and tears. More laughter and fun.

It’s all about the good and positive future I want for myself and my kids. So I’m asking for more documents today. It’s the only thing that will set my past straight. Documents from professionals with no feelings or selfish meanings or views on how thing was or was not.

It will set me free.

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5 thoughts on “Healing the past

  1. I share the same belief, that knowing the facts, the truth, will help the healing. Research was HUGE when I started my journey…there were some who questioned when I was going to stop. We want to know “why?”…what initially sent us down this internal path of pain. Then, it will be seen with new eyes…in a new light…and it will have NO POWER over our minds and hearts💜💙 you are a brave warrior…breaking a cycle for your children!!! Many good thoughts and prayers for you and your kids…💙

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    1. I have always thought that leaving the past would fit me best, since the people trying to share it never seem to share the honest truth. So when I figured out a way to find the facts with no involvement of my family it felt so right to search deeper. And I truly feel like you say AoA that this will not have power over me in the end. And neither will some of the people I feel have power over me now. My children is everything, and they deserve the cycle to be broken ❤ thank you for your support, truly appriciated ❤

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  2. Wishing you all the best in what will be an emotional journey, but so worth it. You can’t really heal from the past until you understand it, and that requires knowledge. Congrats on breaking the cycle with your own children…that is so very important.

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