Its been a rough week. But I have been able to stay mindful about myself. It has probably been so much going on that I haven’t had time to judge myself…
Last Thursday I got the message that my grand-aunt had cancer in her liver. She was so devastated, so I stayed with her all Thursday and also half of Friday. All I could do was to be there and hold her hand, so I did. Thursday I cried the whole time. Friday was a better day. She felt calmer too, so we just stayed together in her hospital room. She has to heal her leg before they can proceed with the cancer issue. So her focus now is to get some food in her system and just relax. She managed well on Friday.
I couldn’t bring the kids there during the weekend, too much illness for them to see, so I am going back to her tomorrow. And I bought her a cellular phone so she can keep in touch with my father and me. We are the only two people she has now. Her husband died of cancer some years ago. And since my dad is in Spain and going to Chile at the end of this month, I felt it would be nice for her to at least hear his voice. And she finally agreed, she hasn’t had a phone for many years!
On Friday I needed some quiet time. I had a not had time to think about the therapy session at all. But it went nice, and tomorrow we are doing more questions. And I will also get a temporary treatment plan! I think that’s a huge step! And it kind of scares me a bit too. Coz what if it’s not what I expect. Well, hopefully we are on the same page, and will find the path together. But its going to be interesting to see here view on everything so far. Her professional take is important to me.
The rest of the weekend was pretty quiet around the house. The girls visited friends houses, and me and Leon spent some quality time at home.
I made a badass dinner in my crock-pot and we did family yoga together, super fun! But not as deep as my regular practice. But the kids love it, so we will be doing it every weekend when we have time!
If you want to have a sneak peek at my yoga practice you can look under the #peacefulyogamama on Instagram. I am tagging all my poses and videos there so that I can see my own progress 🙂 I don’t love my body at the moment, but I am starting to love my practice again! And that’s a huge step for me 🙂
Yesterday I got another bad news, sadly. My uncle is suffering from ALS. And my grandmother told me the doctors have told him that he might have only 2-3 years left of his life. It is so sad. And it is going so fast, he is already unable to walk. And one of his feet are strapped because he can’t hold it up. I had never heard about this before the ice-bucket challenge, and felt grateful that I didn’t have anyone close suffering from it. And now I do. So I have promised my grandmother to drive her to his house every now and then, so my grandfather don’t need to, it’s a pretty long drive.
And a friend of mine made me aware of that it seems like me moving here had a higher reason. Not only did the kids get a happier life, but I am needed. My family needs me to help out, something I would never have been able to in the city. So I am accepting that this is life at the moment.
Ending this post with my mindfulness that is inspired from Silver Threading. Well I think as this week starts off with a lot of issues from last week still on the plate. I will keep mindful thinking about myself as my focus. It did help me several times last week, and I think I still need to stay here. It is so important to me to find love for myself, so therefore I need to keep focusing on my thoughts about myself. It can only come from the heart, and right now the head is fighting the heart still.
Stay safe out there, I send you my love and you are in my thoughts even when I’m to occupied or sad to blog. But I allow myself to feel the sadness right now, its okay to feel it, but I am not letting it drag me under. I need to stay strong for those who need me ❤