– blank space –

I feel I am like a blank space at the moment. Just in between everything. Just existing. In between breaths. Not really living, not really here. In that blank space where a moment is over and another one has not started.

Is it possible to be there. To stay there?

I need to pray.

I went to see my grandaunt today. She is not getting better. She had her biopsy of her liver done and now her liver is bleeding. It wont stop. So they have transported her by helicopter to a hospital in Oslo. And they will try to stop the bleeding there. I am not sure they will manage. Or that she will survive this. She is so weak.

I need to pray.

On top of that my little man had a fever at daycare today. So I had to leave the hospital before she got picket up by the helicopter to pick him up. And all I want to do is to drive to Oslo to be with her. But I have no one to take care of my kids.

I need to pray.

So here I am in the blank space, not sure what to do. All I know is that I feel sorrow. Deeply. And I feel the end for something. And its not good. Its not good at all. I cry. Then I am all out of tears. And then I cry some more. This is not what I expected of the new year. This makes me feel lost and unsure about life.

I need to pray.

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6 thoughts on “– blank space –

  1. Maria
    I think prayer is always good for our soul. We may not know what is happening on the inside, God does. Ask for help in showing you what you can do to help the situation , of course ask for his hand. One part of our life ends and the new area can be lifes blessing.
    Hugs
    M

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Dearest Maria
        The beauty of self discovery is you are free to pray to who you like. Even pray to no one in particular. I’ve been a Christian all my life, recently became an Ordained Minister for my life after Lyme. When I was young there was no reason to think people people believed any different. I am blessed to understand there are many religions and non are bad. There are only bad people in every religion. I respect all religions or beliefs with a foundation of respect. You have to make a decision on what works for you.
        M

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I pray to love, I pray to everything. I have been tied up to thinking that praying has only to do with Jesus or God. But lately God is becoming what Love is to me. God is the same as light. Its the same as energy to me. I am no Christian, and will never be. I am not tied to any religion. I believe in Love. I believe in energy. And that is what God is to me. And I believe in the living of Buddha. Or the Golden Rule. And it feels good to acknowledge that I don’t need one way, I have many. And I don’t judge others for choosing differently. I honor them with Love ❤

        Liked by 1 person

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