Anonymity…

I’m struggling with family members reading my blog and throwing shit about it.. It is my own mistake for making it public and without a pen name. I am not sure what to do about this. However, right now all I manage to do with everything else happening is staying away from my computer. It sad when the few family members I am able to have a sort of normal relationship on my mother’s side is using my blog against me.

I need to write my feelings out, and I want to get out of the stigma that depression and anxiety has. Nevertheless, it seems like I need to do so under a pen name. Isn’t that just double standard though?

In the past, I was looking forward to develop a better relationship with these people, today I just want to end it. Screaming at me on the phone, and making me scream back is just so destructive. Bringing issues from several years ago is also just destructive. Telling me how I should feel about my mum AND my dad is destroying everything. I understand that my mother’s family have issues with me feeling differently with my mum and dad. But they still can’t tell me that I can’t feel how I do.

I know my dad picked some wrong people around us as kids, but he is the most stable person I have had in my life as an adult. My mum is not. And was not when I was a kid either. Her “helping” out by seeing her grandchildren is not patching up anything. It has absolutely nothing to do with our relationship.  How she and her family cannot understand that is beyond me!

I hate being tied up in my writing, I need to express everything I feel through my written word. Now I feel restrained.

So what would happen if I changed my pen name and blog… I do not know. I just know I would still be me, and still be authentic in my feelings and writing. I would just not feel restrained about what they would throw back in my face.

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17 thoughts on “Anonymity…

  1. I’m sorry to hear your family is so unsupportive of the writing in your blog. It would be a shame to have to be annonymous just to appease them. Part of the healing process is to publish your truth under your name and to find others to validate your feelings.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. When someone walks off the deep end about the content of a blog, be they family, friend or stranger, it usually means that it is a truth that they do not want to hear, the reaction is usually anger, but that is on them not on you, sometimes there is no reasoning with them and ties have to be severed , most times after a couple weeks of them thinking about it things tend to settle down and the anger gives way to questions.

    Never hide yourself or censor yourself no matter the outcome, it is YOUR Truth, keeping silent to please others will only tear you up inside in the long run.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. True!! Thank you for sharing that it gave me a whole new perspective! And these people will most likely not let go of the anger, coz that would mean I’m telling the truth. But after writing and publishing the post I know I am fine with letting them go if they choose to be angry about my blog ✌️❤️

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  3. I do use a pen name, but my family follows my blog. I have told them that if something starts making them mad, just stop reading it! No one is forcing them to read, and if they are choosing to do something upsetting, that is their choice. You may be writing about truths that they don’t want to face. My family sometimes avoids reading about things that have hurt the kids, because they lived it, and they are not ready to process or think about it yet. That is ok! I hope you find peace in this. 💜

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Agree! I have been thinking about this all week long. And now I am 100% sure that I will not change my blog. I love the community and I love my blog. I tell no lies, and if the truth is to hard, just stop reading. And I already did take away my picture and real email address when someone stalked me during Christmas. I am not going to tie myself down any more. This is my blog and I am proud of it 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Lots of wisdom in Butchcountry’s post. I thought about this a lot, and chose to keep private,at least with my identity. You can share/reveal a lot under a pen name, it doesn’t negate authenticity for me.
    Some folks have left their blog for various reasons, and have returned under another name…it might work, and save you a lot of aggravation. Good Luck, Maria. We’d be able to find you again.☺ Van

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am staying 🙂 And when i felt stalked during Christmas I changed my avatar and email address, so I should be pretty anonymous after all. And if my family knows about this blog and feel hurt by it I just cant do anything about it. I don’t tell lies, there is no reason for me to do so. So if they cant read my truth they can just leave my blog too 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You need to do what’s best for you. Like it has been mentioned in a previous response, writing under a pen name does not make your truth any less real. It just protects you from attacks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I felt protected because of my blog name, and just after New Year I took away my real name and email, and also changed my avatar. So I am going to keep it like it is now, and not be scared any more 🙂 I am writing my truth, and no one can take that away from me ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hello Maria
    I thought a great deal of this because my brother is alive and he doesn’t know about my father’s sexual abuse. I think you can find a compromise that works for you. The people you are talking about are toxic people in your life which trickle down to kids. You could take the easy way out but why let toxic people who will continue to look for ways to bring you down.
    Are you saying things to hurt these people or to influence your kids? Are the facts sharing the truth? Is the issue the toxic people don’t want to hear or take accountably for their action?
    My thought process, who is accountable for causing the problem. Did you start the blog knowing the family members would read and take offense? Most important to me is, will they continue to look for ways to control you, make you feel bad and always have an issue with. What do you see coming from the toxic relationships? Any chance of mending?
    A couple of ideas: take the high road, state the facts, wrapping up with hoping they can work out their issues. If you don’t think you want to filter you’re writing you probably have a few choices. You will want to read up or talk with WP tech support. I have about six blog names yet only use two now. Before I purchased my web address from WP, I used my current blog name under a different WP name. I Don’t think it would answer all your questions. You might be able to keep current name redirected to different blog name until all users transfer over.
    I don’t know much about social media but I would think new accounts would work best.
    I hope I’ve made some sense. I’m tired, going crazier.
    Hugs
    M
    You might just look under FAQS on WP.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi M!
      What I write in my blog is only for my own healing. I dont write to hurt my family or to influence my kids. I am a strong believer that they need to figure out themselves how these people are, to a certain degree. I will not let these people hurt my kids over and over again!

      When I started the blog I started to write about my yoga journey. Then I touched the depression again, and I fell hard into the darkness. As I was dealing with this in Spain during last summer on vacation, I realized I felt good about writing my feelings out. So I stopped posting my blog on my private FB, I decided that I didnt need to have it in the face of my family and friends. Coz I needed to get it all out, and not to hurt anyone, but to find my own healing. And to find support from others that may have had similar situations in their lifes as me. And I found that. A lot of it. ANd it has helped me so much. Thats also one of the reasons I can not turn away from this blog. Its become a part of my journey. And I love to write.

      And when I am through with my darkest hours I will keep writing. Coz I love it. And I hope that my journey will take me back to yoga, so thats also why I want to keep the name and the blog. Its me before, its me now and its me in the future.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. M
        When you write for yourself, you help yourself. I started blogging in 2005 but not very often. I started my current blog a year ago and it has made the biggest difference in my life in years. I found joy missing from my life in years. After thinking about your post, I did change my user name on Twitter. Chances are slim my sister in law in on Twitter but now my name doesn’t show. We all need an outlet, if one helps us heal old or new wounds it’s all good. I have Bipolar Disorder but have spent most of my life on the depressed side. I’m here for you any time. msandorm@verizon.net
        Hugs 🙂
        M

        Like

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