Life in the fast lane, that’s how my life feels like at the moment! Everything is moving so fast. Even the hours in the day moves fast. It’s like everything has speed up!
This week has been filled with so many different meetings and planning, which leads to lots of feelings that needs to be processed. But I can’t seem to find the time for that.
So today my body had a semi meltdown. Physically. Not in my head, but in my body. It has happened in the past too. But it has been a very long time since last time.
So today I had to cancel my plans and just be. Horizontal. I tried to relax, but my head was spinning. So I went out on the porch, laid down on my yoga mat and meditated for 5 minutes. Then did some easy yoga poses and meditated for another 5 minutes. I just didn’t manage to stay in the quiet of my mind any longer today. And my body was not up for any long yoga session either. But it felt good. What I managed felt good.
The rest of the day has been okay. No more bodily pain or strangeness, or meltdowns. Just floating. Almost like outside of the body floating. In fast forward.
I wish I could slow things down.
Well, Tuesday next week I start my new therapy program. Its group therapy, I have never ever done that before. And I have never ever believed I would do group therapy. But now I am doing it. Next Tuesday. Scary shit. B U T, I am so ready to get my life back on track. And preferably out of the fast lane! So I am doing this. No matter how scary it is. I am doing it. NO if’s and but’s, just action.
My group therapy is a two-year plan. It might take a shorter amount of time, but it also might take around two years. That is a long commitment. But I am ready. I just hope I can stay in it and be a good mum. I don’t want anything in the world to affect my motherhood. I need to be there for my kids. But my therapist told me that I can slow things down if I feel it is affecting my family. I can even delay things if that is the best for me and my kids. But right now I am in action mode. So we are doing it now, and we have evaluating during the whole process. I have faith that this will work out. For all of us.
Today Leon was observed at daycare by a physiotherapist, she didn’t see any physically wrong with him, or any physical delays. B U T, she did see the restlessness, and the lack of concentration. So she didn’t object to me taking things further. And agreed with my thinking about getting things ruled out. She agreed on it, instead of spending months and months trying out several things to try to find out what “works” for him. And like I told her I don’t need a diagnose for him, I am just looking for the best way to help his days at daycare, later school, to be the best they can be. And ruling out diagnoses that run in the family and that he have symptoms of, is just good for him and everyone else. And if he ends up with a diagnose in the end or not is not important. What its important is that he get what he needs to thrive and be happy in the long run.
So things are happening fast, but I am keeping my head high and I have hope in my heart that we are all on the right path at the right time ❤