Mentalizing

Mentalizing is a huge part of my therapy.

It was a brand new word for me when I first heard it in therapy this spring.

And strangely now it is occupying my mind almost every day.

Am I mentalizing? Am I putting my feelings into this persons behavior? Am I overreacting?

So what is this “mentalizing”?

I am not sure I understand it completely yet either.

And its okay, since its something I am going to learn more about through therapy in the fall.

But as many of you already know, I can’t wait.

So I need to educate myself NOW.

Here is something I found on this page.

Understanding Mentalizing

Mentalizing refers to the spontaneous sense we have of ourselves and others as persons whose actions are based on mental states: desires, needs, feelings, reasons, beliefs and the like.

Normally, when we interact with others, we automatically go beneath the surface, basing our responses on a sense of what underlies the other person’s behavior, namely, an active mind and a wealth of mental experience.

Thus we are natural mind readers, and mentalizing entails accurate and effective mind reading. By virtue of being human, this process of mentalizing comes so naturally to us that we easily overlook its significance.

To understand psychiatric treatment; however, we must pay careful attention to mentalizing and the conditions under which this basic human capacity becomes impaired.

We mentalize in relationships with other persons, not in interactions with inanimate objects.

So now when I have a conflict or judge someone because of what they said or did I wonder if I am wrong.

Maybe I perceive it all wrong?

So I will have to keep on educating myself.

And by no means will I just let myself go as the crazy one just because I feel a certain way.

I will still listen to my feelings and thoughts, but I am trying to take a step back in some situations to see if I have been putting my own emotions over on the other persons actions.

And like everything else in therapy, small steps are my path.

And this also has a strong connection to attachments:

The single most important factor in fostering mentalizing is a secure attachment relationship—a close emotional bond.

(found on the same page as mentioned before).

So my work with my therapist is necessary for me to create that bond, before we dive deep into the mentalizing work in the fall.

What is strange to me is this feeling of need of a strong attachment.

Coz through my whole spiritual journey I have always learned that I should detach from everything around me to find enlightenment.

So I need to investigate the difference between secure attachments and no attachments spiritually.

That quote is the way I have lived my adult life.

And now I need to train my brain into accepting attachments.

Not sure if its possible.

Really not sure.

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