#throwback Thursday

Today my throwback is to a very special day. The day is 29th of October 2005.
The great memories actually started on the 28th. And while it was happening there was nothing great about it.
Yes my memories are bringing me back to the day my firstborn daughter came into this world.  

 I was one week overdue and since I was struggling with depression and anxiety they admitted me at the hospital on the 28th. I had not slept much the week prior to when I got admitted.   I was a single mom, Lara’s father was living in Thailand and I never expected him to be here during the pregnancy or delivery or after. 

 And after one night in the hospital the contractions started. Lucky for me my dad came to the hospital to support me. I also had a very good friend back then who came with me and stayed during the delivery. 
I did not have an easy birth. My contractions started around 11 AM on Friday and on Saturday morning 6:35 AM she entered the world through a C-section.  

 
I still remember the pain when my body didn’t want to participate in the contractions. I remember all the harsh words I said to my mid wife and I still can hear my screaming when I close my eyes and think about it. It was nothing like you see in the movies! I really couldn’t control my screams because I felt she was ripping me apart!   
I remember I told them she was stuck, but they never believe me. They didn’t understand how she could be stuck when they had estimate her to be so little. Their estimation was around 3 1/2 kg, but when she entered the world she was 4.6 kg! I still remember how shocked the doctor and midwife was when they saw her. I had this tiny little midwife and when she hold my daughter it looked so funny! I remember we all smiled and laughed about how big she was.  
But she was pretty darn perfect to me! And I have never been sad that I have had her or my other two by C-sections. It’s equally as meaningful as giving birth to me because they all came out healthy and happy.  

 
In a couple months this little princess is turning 10 years old. It’s a milestone. And I’m so freaking proud of her and all she has gone through in her 10 years. And I pray that her next 10 years will be much calmer. I know I will do everything I can to make it calm, safe and filled with love. 

 
My little babies are growing up, it’s an honor to see them grow. And I’m so thankful to be able to have all these flashbacks and throwbacks where I can remember these memories and just feel those good days all over again in my heart. It makes me feel truly blessed ❤️

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